Passing into Tomorrow

Is this how I go? I’m not ready, it’s too soon, so much undone. Is this how I go? My heart stopping, my old body failing me? I can feel it now, my life, which before I had not noticed, is so obvious in its absence. My hearing is gone, the soft sheets on my skin are gone, the heaviness of my eyes are gone, the smell of perfume is gone. But with them my pain is gone.

Now I see her. My wife. She sits beside my body, my beautiful body. My heart no longer beating, my blood frozen still. But then I see her again, not as she is, old and frail now, but when we were young and free. Frolicking in fields and chasing our dreams in their butterfly form.

These cannot be dreams, nor memories, nor visions of what is in this moment. What these things I see now?

I see my Grandchildren; one, head in a notebook scrawling away and the other, a furry animal on her lap. They have the blonde hair that once covered my head, blowing in the wind as they do that which they love. The soft scratching of a pencil on paper mixes with the gentle ruffles of a scurrying animal. I am proud, nothing brings me more warmth inside. Now they are together, young instead of the adults they are now. They are running about in my garden of various bright flowers, their smiles shining brighter than all of the beauty around them. Small birds look on as I do now, beholding my grandchildren's joy and accompanying their giggles with soft sweet melodies of song.

My daughter; my beautiful daughter, oh how we did not see eye to eye but now I see clearly she has the most beautiful eyes. They are like mine but filled with vaster oceans and brighter skies. Oh my sweet daughter, how I love you, how I wish I could tell you one more time, how I wish to watch you grow all over again and live through that joy once more, only once.

I see my son in law, slaving away, hammer in hand, sweat on his brow, oh how I wish he could see how proud I am to call him family.

I see my friends, those past and those still awake. The laughter we shared with drinks in our cups and love in our hearts.

Memories blur with what I now perceive. Again I see my wife, tears softly falling down her face. Her wrinkled hands caressing mine. She plants a final kiss on my forehead and says goodbye. It’s not goodbye, it's just a “see you tomorrow”.

My beautiful wife. My beautiful family. My beautiful friends. The beauty of my life, the places I’ve seen and the people I’ve loved, the times I’ve wept and the times I’ve cheered. Each moment I cherish in this moment.. My last moment.

I’m ready… what awaits me?